Rough…How Your Mom Likes It.

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Big shout out to Dylan, who wrote me this email today:

“I hadn’t been reading your blog all too long, but I was really enjoying it- thought you were ‘hella’ funny.  Now, I have been waiting for you to post again! Last post 6 April? Hoping you’re alive :) I waited a while to send you an email, didn’t want to be creepy or harass you, but just wanted to let you know that if you ever have the inkling to post sometime soon, I would very much enjoy it!”

Hella funny?  Oh stop it you.  Okay, tell me more.

Sneak peak at the e-mail I wrote back:

“…..transition……moved…..70 hour weeks at my job….crazy diet….makeover….will be in the States in a week…..discombobulated for the past 2 months….will post full update this weekend.”

Thanks for bringing me back Dylan.  The past 2 months have been pretty rough and intense.  But back to full blast mode and my first love…writing……STAY TUNED.

(Off topic, I just spent 15 minutes going through Leann Rimes’ Twitter pics so if I die tonight, I deserve it.)

Just Another Day With the IT Department

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I moved to a bigger office (as an American in Oz, I have to live up to people’s expectations) but my phone line hasn’t been switched to my new office.  For the last 2 weeks I’ve been corresponding, fighting, begging, and crying with IT to get this resolved.  I’ve resorted to giving out my personal cell number so I can be reached and it’s all been a clusterf**k. 

So here’s episode 14 in the hit series Nezza’s So Called Life:  Just another day with the IT department

So tell me, what has Diddy done for YOU lately? 

Stay tuned!

Mega Buttload and the Pony Pirate

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Congratulations to the caption contest winner (and the creative inventor of this post’s title):

J. Chris Lawrence: “Of course this is a professional establishment! This is authentic Chinese carpeting! Now, just hang your coat over there on the tent pole and we’ll get started…”

Now I realize this post is late as I promised to announce the winner at 9pm PST. But as I was writing this post and surfing Chris’s blog, I got a little carried away with the reading and lost track of time.

4 hours into Chris’s blog, I got a little jelly. Chris is the writer Yin to my Yang. We both like writing fiction and humor, but mine is light; his is dark. So while I’m frolicking around Sydney eating cupcakes and writing posts about unicorns, Chris is delving into a zombie apocalypse and getting his work published. Well f**k me.

Chris created Agoraphobe’s Lament, (a blog on his comedic dark fictional character Mack living amid the zombie apocalypse), Ars Gratia Artis, (a mini blog), and most recently he started J. Chris Lawrence (a heavier blog where he showcases work unrelated to his fiction blog). Overachiever much?!?

I was more intrigued by his zombie fiction blog. His clever use of the English language combined with sharp humor and just the right amount of suspense is enough to make readers return for follow-up posts. His blog has developed quite a following which speaks for itself. And because I’m a cheap bastard, I followed his blog. Who doesn’t want a free e-book in their Inbox?

So without much further ado, I’ll let J. Chris Lawrence’s blog Agoraphobe’s Lament take it away with my favorite post: Mega Buttload and the Pony Pirate.

Because pasty homosexual vampires is so 2009.

 

BAM!

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20120401-143216.jpgBoarding the ferry to Manly Beach


Pondering:  We are all just grains of sand in this ocean called……..Ooooh, girl……WTF?!?!  Floral print swimsuits are so 3 months ago.

Texting back an admirer:

“You’re the reason why I wake up in the morning.  Just kidding!  I have work.”

 

Manly Beach  (BAM = Blogging at Manly)

Wharf 3, Circular Quay

Sydney NSW

Google Me for March 2012

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I need to bake some cookies for the good folks at Google for directing misguided souls to my site.

I’m a little offended people aren’t finding HellaSydney through the more appropriate search terms “Beautiful girl flies to Australia to find out if there’s more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking” or maybe even “Single female seeks to marry 33 year old CEO male to save her from crying and blogging on Saturday nights.”

Maybe Google employees are hungover from the night before.  It’s okay, everyone has their “off days.”  Mine are Monday through Friday.

But I digress.  The following are my March 2012 top five favorite search terms that have directed people to HellaSydney.  To you poor souls, I’m sorry.

5.  Giraffe with a sign saying boner

Reading my site for the inspiration for this got him sent to the principal’s office.  Don’t be too hard on him Mr. Principal.  His parents are going through a divorce.

4.  Tevin Campbell arrested

WH- WHAT?!?!?!??!  Oh hell to the naw!  You won’t find anything regarding this Headline News Breaker on my site but I’m Googling it right now.  I’m ready….to get to the bottom of this!

3.  Blow job with art nails

Not sure how this individual ended up here but my nails have Classic Fiction on them.  Try Kimmy K.’s site.  I heard she’s good with Kanye’s penis fashionable nails.

2.  White baby tigers in snow

Get off my site you sick F*ck!!!

and my personal favorite (drumroll pleeeeaaaaaaase……..)

1.  Old men holding hands

When seeing old men golfing and driving Porsches makes you terrified of retiring, c’mon down to HellaSydney to see them doing the things that really matter in life.

What awesome search terms have directed people to your site?